So, I'm browsing through the Washington Post Sports Section, looking for anything interesting about the Redskins or Maryland football, when I come across this article:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/31/AR2007073100719.html

Take a moment to read it, because my entire post today is going to be about it.

All right, first of all, anybody who does not know that Joe Theisman, Paul Maguire, and Mike Patrick were the absolute pits as far as NFL announcing teams go - and that is saying something, given the quality of the average NFL announcing pairs - should stop writing about sports immediately. The 2006 Pro Football Prospectus had a hilarious mock transcript of a game called by them. It'll be tough to find last year's now, but if you can see a copy of it, look for it and read it - you'll be howling.

But I digress.

This is the most preposterous column I have read in some time (keep in mind, I do not read right-wing political commentary columns...I'm sure Ann Coulter has written things that make this pale in insignificance as far as sheer idiocy goes, but I wouldn't know because Ms. Coulter does not interest me in the slightest). It starts off with:

"Joe Theismann had no idea how his life was about to change that March 23 day he showed up in Manhattan to meet with ESPN executives Norby Williamson and John Skipper."

I mean, what the hell is this, a sports column or a detective novel? Why not just start the column, "It was a dark and stormy night..."?

We go on to learn that Joe Theisman "was 'stunned' (emphasis mine) by the news" that he was getting the big, ugly, axe, but seriously, was anybody else, except apparently this guy? Look, I'm a Redskins fan, but I'm not old enough to remember the Joe Theisman Era - the only Super Bowl Championship I watched was XXVI, and that was Mark Rypien, not Theisman, at the helm. And my father did not drill Redskins lore into me from the time I was 7 years old; my father is from New Orleans, where, historically, they like to pretend that their professional football team doesn't exist (although they have a dynamite squad right now). So I don't have the emotional attachment to the guy as most Redskins' people do. So I can say this...

Theisman is an idiot. That is why he was "stunned". Hell, that's why he was fired. The guy may have had some very serious quarterbacking skills, and obviously has whatever mental acquity it takes to make reads of coverage schemes and know where your recievers are going to be if they think a blitz is coming, but when he tries to communicate the results are simply painful. The only thing they could have possibly done to make him look good was to do just what they did: put him in a booth where the other two motherfuckers were even stupider than he was. And, I have to say, it worked. Compared to tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbass, Joe looked like a goddam Mensa applicant. It worked so fuckin' well Joe's bosses were fooled by their own ploy when they deemed him the only one of the three to stay on the team. It turned out that, as most of us independant observers forecasted when the old new line-up was announced: that in fact, none of those dimwits should have been brought back.

On the other hand, Ron Jaworski is a thinker. This guy knows football, inside and out. And, unlike Joey T, When Jaworski talks you actually learn stuff if you pay attention. Anybody who has ever watched a single episode of ESPN's NFL Match-up with Jaworski and Merrill Hodge knows that that was/is easily the best football show on television. and the reason is because of Jaws' unique insights and fantastic communicative skills. Hodge isn't bad - there could have been worse choices to pair Jaws up with (Sean Salisbury...shudder...), but Jaws is the star. I hope he still has time for that show. But if he doesn't the price of losing that show will well be worth the tremendous talent upgrade in the booth.

Of course, if ESPN really wants Monday Night Football to go back to its near-dominance of television on Monday nights, it should get rid of all of the extra crap - the celebrity guests, for instance - and try and be just a football broadcast. People who don't like football won't watch a football game just for an 8-minute interview with Matthew McConoughey where he'll probably mostly be talking about what a big football fan he is. Or Christian Slater, making a total ass of himself. The people who watch football on Monday nights, even though the two teams playing might not even be in their teams' conference, are hardcore football fans who want to watch a hardcore football broadcast. Nobody else is watching, so stop trying to cater to them. Try and get those old viewers back, the ones who used to watch the game simply because they love watching the game of football, but sopped because you have buried the game under a mountain of comercialism and crap.

But that being said, I am very optimistic about this new line-up. I can't wait for the season to start. I'm gonna go hunt for some more Terps and Skins articles...